I Use Facebook to Creep

How does social networking contribute to your sense of community?

One person says, "I use it to 'creep'" That's it. Just to creep. I hope more people answer with that response so I can add a section to a pie chart on the happiness level of creepers.

Well, I guess I can say I successfully designed the survey for people to answer truthfully!

Going through these answers though, I wish I would not have stressed that the survey took "just a couple minutes to fill out." I wish I would have had more time in each town to seek out the same amount of people, but only those who didn't feel pressured to fill it out or were in a hurry. I have a lot of missing answers. "Do you feel you are more or less happy than your friends and family?" is a question two which many have responded "yes." THAT IS NOT A YES/NO QUESTION.

Question one is "on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you?" Farther down the survey, I ask them to rate their friends' happiness. The next question right after it states, "Do you feel like you are more or less happy than your friends?" It seems repetitive but the answers are far from it. Let's say 'Joe' rates his happiness as an 8. He says his friends are a 7. He says he is happier than his friends. The next survey, 'Todd' rates his happiness as a 4. His friends' happiness level is an 8. He STILL says he is happier than his friends. Why do people answer in this manner? The survey is very short so it would be hard to forget that they put a '4' as their happiness level just 45 seconds earlier.

Why does everyone, despite contradicting statements from moments earlier, say they are happier than everyone around them?

I Haven't Forgotten...Only Procrastinated....

I knew my biggest issue with this project was going to be once I was home. First off, there was a lot to digest: the experiences I had were incredible but sleeping in your car or at strangers houses is really exhausting. Next, there's been a lot of things going on:

1. The boyfriend proposed! A wedding date for April 14. Oh good, something else to distract me. Wedding planning on the tiniest budget ever when a third of the guests are coming from out of state has been...exciting.

2. The holidays(I got a tripod so pictures like this were possible)

3. Hobbies like baking, knitting, hiking, running...

4. The contract job I was working ended and I'm waiting for the new one to begin. Wait, that's not an excuse...that has freed up lots of time I would be spending working to pay rent!

So now, with the encouragement with my boyfriend who, as a grad student, is assisting in a research project that is MUCH larger than mine is but VERY similar, I have begun the work to get all this put together. Not only did I have to open hundreds of envelopes to sort them, I had to create a data sheet, enter the numbers, and analyze the results. To even create the data sheet to analyze the results, I had to figure out how to use excel and decided how exactly I wanted to enter the numbers so that I would be able to manipulate the data later on. That is what I've been stuck on for the last three months.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm sort of like a caveman when it comes to "machines" (my 93-year-old grandmother's word for computer)

Spending a day sorting surveys and getting them into an organized file folder system is one thing. Putting the paper into a computer without it crashing or me pulling my hair out is another. (And no, you can't physically shove paper into a lap top. Turns out, that's not how these things work. WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THAT ARGH) After many failed attempts to get a working data sheet out, my boyfriend basically did it for me. NOT THE DATA ENTRY. He coded all the numerical data and created the outline for the excel spreadsheet. Now all I have to do is label and enter in all the data for each survey. After I finish with that, he can transfer the excel document to some other really fancy program he has access to while at the UW that can manipulate the data in all sorts of ways. Honestly, I would have been so overwhelmed without his help.

I'll keep you posted as I continue on. I still am amazed at all the people I've talked to who I never would have expected to read my blog. It's pretty been pretty amazing!

I haven't forgotten guys! Only procrastinated!

Heading Home

I can't believe I'll be home tomorrow evening. It seems like, although I'm still in Idaho, that it is a lifetime away. Returning to the daily grind sounds both comforting and stifling at the same time. I'm sure one week into work I'll be wondering, 'Was I really sleeping in my car just seven days past?'

I feel like my last blog entry was a bit too excited and rushed. I spent my last week and a half in the Wild West and because I took some serious back roads, it really WAS the WILD West. I can't decide which people are kinder: the Southerners in their hospitality, the Midwesterners in their amazing generosity, or the Westerners in their openness. In places like Wyoming and Nevada, you cannot just survive on your own. You have to stick together, even if its a small group of you. I don't think I there's any other place that I felt so much at home than in the mountains of Nevada. This has always been a place I've enjoyed to have an adventure, but waking up with the sun coming over the desert mountains and the world in complete quiet was just heaven.

Western men, despite completely living up to their rough stereotype (as I said in WY), are more open to emotions that I would have thought. I chatted with one rancher after discussing the problem of wild horses and roping cattle, about how he stopped hunting after his wife passed away. He said that they used to hunt geese. Geese mate for life. If you killed one, the mate comes back searching for its downed lover and after his own mate died of cancer, it kills him to think he could ever do that--even to a bird. Also, the way these men treat their dogs is just incredible. It's not the kind of care that a city guy might take care of his dog, but the affection for his loyal companion is verbalized nonetheless. "If a woman was as devoted to me as this wolf..." I heard one man say, "I wouldn't be alone today. I would treat her so well in return."

I've said before that everyday I feel like I'm going through culture shock and I haven't left the United States in two years. After my week in the West, I headed to the mountains of Idaho. I had forgotten about Idaho's reputation for skin heads til I got here. Oh yeah I remember!, I thought to myself as yet another old Ford littered in Dixie bumper stickers passed me with two bald white males sitting in front. In the south, having a confederate flag either means 1. Your a white supremest or 2, you're proud of your heritage. So far northwest, having a confederate flag hang over your front door only means the first. With this in mind, I should probably hide away my "Dixieland" license plate before someone assumes the worst.

Anyway, soon I will be home. I'll post state superlatives and final mileage statistics. I'm scraping by with just enough money to get through this trip. And I'm so thankful for this opportunity...despite the fact that I'm sitting in a Starbucks and I am not sure how I ended up smelling this bad even though my WONDERFUL coworker booked me a room in his timeshare resort two nights ago (Complete with a washing machine, a gas fire place, and a hot tub!!). Shower, I'm so sorry baby, I'll never take you for granted again. I swear. No more asking my roommate if I look clean enough to bypass you. It got old quickly having to scurry into a gas station with a broken backpack full of toiletries and scurry out 10 minutes later with a towel around my head. Sadly enough, I've looked cleaner after a Burger King shower than a real one. And no, to people who ask "Burger Kings have showers?" They don't.

And sorry, no more pictures (not even of watching two shepherds herd a flock of sheep out in the middle of the high desert or of the road sign "Beet Dump Rd") as I somehow lost my camera charger. Must have fallen out of that annoying broken backpack! :(

Of Wolves and Men

You know it's going to be an interesting evening when you're 100 miles from any highway and 20 from a paved road and walk into a mountain top saloon that's filled with mountain men, cowboys, dogs, and a wolf. I'm sure a lot of people would have very much doubted their judgement as to the series of events that would lead them to a place like this but I was all smiles. The guy who led me to this devil's den asked the bartender to share some moonshine with me and she gave a disgusted look at the idea but nonetheless whipped out a gallon finger jug labeled in pencil "Cook's special" and poured me a taste. Now I know why the rednecks in cartoons always breathe fire when they drink moonshine! She didn't bother asking if I wanted more because obviously I did not. As the evening progressed, I got to know everyone in the entire village, everyone in the village over, and of everyone in the next valley. 75 miles off a dirt road leads you to highway 50, nicknamed "The Loneliest Road" on every map. So obviously I was OUT there.

The series of events that led me to this ghost town in the mountains: I headed west on hwy 6. I knew I was in for some good times because of this sign:

Also...because Nevada is the BEST state to go to if you want a good story to tell. I've never visited the state without having an adventure. The first time, I met a group of snowboarders that invited me to stay with them for a week. The second time, a woman came up to me and told me my past and future. This is the also state where I stayed at the haunted campsite.

I decided to take a 500 mile detour and retrace some of the steps I took when I was in the Silver state 3 years ago. Should I go shower at the hot springs where a huge pack of coyotes decided to interrupt my last bathing session? Absolutely! This time: successful. Only one wild bunny and no other wild creatures. Though, a van full of Korean tourists snapped a few pictures of me sitting in a bikini washing my hair in the naturally warm spring waters. Thanks, guys. I have no idea where they would even be coming from as this hot springs was is probably 200 miles from Vegas and even more from Reno.

After my nice shower, I headed north. Some voice kept on nagging on me to visit a semi ghost town I had visited on my previous trip even though it was several miles out of the way. I shrugged and listed to the voice. Sure glad I did because then I ended up following a group of people down a long dirt road to a town unmarked. After a fun evening meeting everyone and hearing cool stories, a nice couple I met there let me stay in their house. This morning I went for a lovely jog through the hills. Jogging at 7500 feet is just as slow and painful as jogging in Alabama August humidity. When I left, they sent me away with the best lunch/dinner/lunch the next day.

Although a group invited me to join them to go rope cattle in the mountains, it just won't work out for me to be gone for an overnight trip. So I missed out on probably the experience of a lifetime but don't they say, when one door closes, another one opens? Only a few more days left on this trip so hopefully one opens soon!

Vast Nothingness

The majority of Wyoming, excluding the Yellowstone and Grand Teton area, is a wasteland of vast nothingness without change from the 350 miles or so east to west. In fact, it is the least populous state in the union and from the moment I crossed from Nebraska to Wyoming, I could see why. I drove about 50 miles on four separate occasions without seeing a single man-made structure (sometimes because of open range, not even a fence line along the lonely two-lane highway) as far as the eye could see in every direction.

I was a little apprehensive heading west from Iowa. The last three states I had visited: Illinois, Missouri, and Iowa had all bored me with their landscapes. Slight rolling hills and corn. Oh, and some soy. Over and over again for hundreds of miles weaving through the tri-state area. This is the first time I have traveled and been bored by the scenery. In fact, I even prided myself in loving the states that were least loved like the Dakotas and Oklahoma. Upon entering Nebraska, everything changed from corn fields to cattle grazing land. So beautiful!!! I ended up driving at night trying to make it the rest of Nebraska and I could drive MILES without seeing any light from anything. (I kept checking my brights because they just didn't light anything it was so dark)

Wyoming is desert mountains high desert plains. This territory is ancient, God-forsaken, eerie, peaceful. The mountains, where you can see the layers of earth jutting out at an angle tell of earthquakes and disasters occurring millions of years in the past. One almost expects a triceratops to emerge behind a hill, or even to see a UFO crash site in a field. I stopped the car and got out. Since it was still early, there was little wind so I couldn't even hear THAT. The only sound were my ears ringing. If you ever have a chance, I suggest you go hang out by yourself in the desert out in the middle of nowhere to hear yourself think. If you can't stand the silence, make some changes.

Silly Wyoming...that isn't a road.

Off to interview in Cokeville, WY, on the southwest corner of the state. The dot on the map was pretty big so I was expecting something pretty decent-sized.

Population: 506. Even in the center of town there was deafening silence. How did I end up at all these small towns?? The people turned out to be pretty friendly, for the most part. In contrast to Stuart, NE that has a similar population, they were much more welcoming to "move-ins" I interviewed a girl who had moved to Cokeville from Nevada. The town natives agreed that "Once you move in, you're one of us...whether you like it or not!!" On the other hand, Stuart-ans talked of another resident saying, "Well, he's just a move-in." "Oh yeah? How long has he lived here?" I asked. "36 years." Which goes to show you how different towns are even if they have the same industry and population.

It was nearing sundown. I was sitting at the bar with a glass of water in my hands. Suddenly the doors to the cafe swing open. The barmaids gasp and flee to the kitchen. A baby cries. The silhouettes of four large men, their cowboy hats casting shadows over their faces, linger in the door way. "Well?" One barks. "Are we gonna git service?" The waitress shuffles around the bar to show them to their table. They swagger in a slow mosey in their chaps and tight Wranglers. I could hear the sound of the spurs hit the old wooden blanked floor and tried not to make eye contact with them.

Ok, so that's an exaggeration of what happened, but I snapped a picture of two of them heading back to their truck. Wyoming ranchers make Texans look like frail city boys.

Now I'm surrounded by Mormons in a Salt Lake City suburb. My next destination was going to be Hanksville--located right between several national parks but i think it would be more interesting and better to get a larger city as I have done interviews in so many small towns. Oh yeah, landscape-wise, Utah blows all the other states out of the water...hands DOWN. Ok Wyoming has a lot of beauty as well in the northwestern part and Montana too. But Utah wins. Visit there.

Homeless Turf Wars

Finally I have a chance for internet access for the first time in nearly a week. Often times there is internet at a McDonalds (where I am now) but there are rarely outlets so I don't have a real chance to take advantage of the facility.

I faced more rejection than ever before in Illinois, a state that is now on my bad list. Not only was I kicked out for chatting with retired farmers at a McDonalds, a woman actually threw my survey out in the garbage right in front of me. I was so mad I nearly just left town right there. Seeing as I've been on the road for nearly two months, not stayed in the same place except once for more than two nights, and showered in the most embarrassing of places, I am VERY much at the end of my rope. But, after taking a few deep breaths and deciding to try again, I worked up the courage to ask permission at a local pub in town to let me do interviews. People there were great and had me leaving the town (after stopping by every shop in downtown) feeling a lot better about the place....UNTIL today where I found surveys by ACCIDENT that people had sealed away without filling out the majority of the questions. WHY would a person say they would help, then pretend to do so? Because I decided to save looking at the data until I got home, I am wondering...how many more people have done this? Is it just awful Monticello, Illinois or are there many more states and people who have failed to complete the 2 minutes of work they agreed to do?

A Starbucks in Columbia, Missouri the next morning kindly asked me to leave. They were much nicer about it but Starbucks was my one last safe haven and an easy starting place. Not that I've found too many Starbucks' in my travels, but the cities that have had them even the employees all ask to help out and fill out a survey. I ended the day at a McDonald's and made it out JUST in time before I was kicked out again.

-Keepin' in classy, Missourah: Bumper sticker says, "My Other Toy has HOOTERS" How does someone respond to this? No words.-

THANKFULLY, Iowans were extremely hospitable and helpful. A couple I had met while volunteering in Joplin, MO, invited me to stay at their house despite me giving them extremely short notice I would be in the area. I spent two nights there--including having Sunday completely off! Everyone I met in their church was so kind and welcoming (despite being LUTHERAN ;) ) They sent me off with a nice lunch and lots of hugs. Yeay!!

Now in last couple days I've put in LOTS more miles and going to drive another 600 miles tomorrow to get to the next town in western Wyoming. I can't believe that I'll be home in less than two weeks. I'm definitely feeling like it's time to go home. Last night, I thought I had struck gold being able to stay at a rest stop with clean bathrooms and outlets and a chair! I was able to charge my iPod while working on a craft project. Unfortunately, since the rest area was in-town, there were two other homeless people hanging around. I tried to work on my bead work, but one started going off about how the second Vatican council wasn't the true Catholic faith because the real pope was kidnapped and a free Mason took his place and made all the changes. "Stained glass windows and Latin...That's TRUE Catholicism...otherwise you are going to hell. I'm telling you this for your own good." Sadly enough, the rest stop reminded me a lot of downtown Everett. But cleaner.

So who won the homeless turf war? Ranting Conspiracy Theories vs. Stephanie....Crazy wins. I fled to the safety of my hobo fort (the Corolla) and fell into a fitful sleep. Funny, this man was not the first schizophrenic man I had run into in Iowa or even that day. The first was around my age and I could tell he was right away. I felt deep empathy for him and we talked for 30 minutes. In the end, he wanted my phone number though so I apologized and explained I had a boyfriend. I let him give me his address because he pleaded for me to return to talk to him more. I wonder where his family was. What had occurred in his life that he ended up in small town Iowa all alone, intensely feeling his solitude? There are so many "lepers" in modern America. The mentally ill and homeless (most go hand in hand) are 99% of the time avoided and ignored. Actually being on this trip, I have been given that look very often and lots of disgusted/curious stares. It is so OBVIOUS what people are thinking and it only makes a person what to hide away from society even more, away from help.

On a final, lighter note, in Iowa I saw a a trucked pulled up to a deer with two men getting out to cut it up. They themselves had not hit the deer as the truck was undamaged.

GOD BLESS 'MERKA!!!!!

Learning so much....but what again?

NOTE: I present a lot of questions in this entry--this does NOT IMPLY that if I question something or someone, I believe them to be wrong--it's because I want to know IF they are or are not.

A traveling couple I had an extremely brief exchange with in Goodman, WI invited me to stay at their home in Green Bay. Since the Packers are my second favorite team, I had to say yes! First, let me talk about Michigan.

I visited a friend in a Detroit suburb. It was so WONDERFUL to connect with someone my own age!! It seems like those I really get along the best are usually 30 to 50 years older than I am which honestly, is a bit saddening to me. Why don't young people like to DISCUSS the meaning of life? I just had such a GREAT time there. She introduced me to her neighbors who were just wonderful women as well. We stayed up "late" drinking wine and discussing all the things people aren't supposed to talk about: religion, sex, and politics. If you can leave the night having different views on these subjects and still be friends, you're in good company!

One thing I noticed is the South is not as racist as we make it out to be. Ok, let me rephrase that. The South is just as racist as the rest of the country. I noticed just as much segregation in Michigan as in Georgia. I feel the racism in the north, which I considered to be only a Seattle thing, is that no one believes themselves to be racist as probably a Southerner might admit it more. And how can you solve a problem that no one believes exists? I am very curious to look up the history of Detroit now. My friend said that she's talked to people who have lived in the Detroit suburbs their whole lives and how in the 1960's, after the riots, the white people gave up the city to the African American population and it's gone downhill ever since. I asked her, "If you listened to the same story from people who lived in Atlanta suburbs their whole lives, would you believe them or would you write it off as 'those southern racists'?" I REALLY wish I would have been able to go in the city and talk to people. Would I just pin everyone in the city of Detroit as a victim? Probably not. I think to completely victimize people strips them of their power to help themselves. Grr--this has left me with TOO many questions and NOT enough answers!

Continuing on the topic of the Midwest, never has any group of people been so generous to me as those in Michigan and Wisconsin. Southerners were very hospitable and would invite me to their house, some would even buy me dinner. No one handed me cash, but I swear Midwesterners have just been throwing money at me. Obviously it's not a huge amount but it's been very touching and amazing to me.

My interviews in Goodman, WI went very well. It was the first time that I actually went to people's houses to interview people, and my first time to interview the oldest person in the town (she is 96 years old). One man, in his 90's, answered very high on his level of happiness. However, on the other factors that should contribute to happiness, he was very low. At the end of the survey when he started showering me with little gifts, I asked him, "Why are you so happy? Everything here states that you shouldn't be so." (I always seem to just blurt out what I'm thinking--gets me in trouble sometimes) He had lost two wives, one fairly recently, and his 11...yes ELEVEN...children all lived a fair distance away from him and he lived alone in a retirement community. After thinking about it for a moment, he had simple answer: "The Lord has been very good to me." Goodman is at the edge of its county, connected closely with Franklin county. This is the poorest county in the state. However, 4 separate people tried handing me money and gifts. Another bought my dinner at the cafe.

When I was in New Hampshire, I decided to splurge and buy dinner out to eat famous New England seafood. I sat down at the bar next to a CEO who had traveled the world and the country many times over. He was definitely well off. Now, I am hesitant to repeat this in words because I don't want to make it sound like I am looking for hand outs. He made no mention of buying me dinner, which actually was probably the first time that I had sat down and chatted with someone who hadn't. When I was in the south, I wouldn't find out until after they had left that they had paid so there was no way I could thank them. Those in the poorest county in the state were giving me the shirt off their back. Again, I wasn't looking for ANYONE to buy me anything. Thank the Lord people have been so good to me. Despite my rest stop showers, going extra slow on the freeway to save gas, and lunches consisting of tuna and crackers, I am starting to run out of money. If people hadn't been so GOOD to me along the way and before I even started my journey, there is no way I could have done this trip. It just cost so much more than I thought.

The couple from Green Bay showered me with typical generosity to a complete stranger. The husband and I sat down and he just started asking me over and over again how I was doing things. He said that it seems like the surveys and interviews are secondary to this amazing journey I've had. In many ways, I have felt very much like what it's like to be homeless, he commented. Obviously I have a car and I do have emergency money so it's not the same. I told him I feel like I'm learning something very important but I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. Every day I talk to people and gain experiences and hear viewpoints I had never heard before. Then I get back into my car and digest it all. But I don't know what I'm digesting! Once I do figure out what I'm learning, I think it's going to be pretty intense. And once I understand that, where do I go from there?

The more I travel, the more I find out I really don't have an idea of what it is like to live in this earth. The less likely I am just to say 'well, these people are this way' as I did when I was younger. The scary part of it is, I have seen more places and talked to and tried to understand the people of this world more than the majority of people...and how LITTLE we understand each other and really see what it's like. Especially since the more you learn, the more you realize you have more to learn. I was given such a tiny snapshot of American life growing up. I traveled the world and the view got bigger. As the pinhole of my experience expanded, the more I could see it was just a small piece of a much larger picture. What I find sad is that when people don't travel or try to understand their neighbor, they feel like they understand each other because they don't realize their life is just a tiny fraction of the human experience. There is so much more to learn.

I'm in Illinois now. Yesterday I came down with a nasty cold--worse than I've had in a long time. Thankfully a friend from Everett hooked me up with more of his family in Bloomington so I was able to sleep 14 hours last night. Even so, there will be no surveys today. Also, to those who keep on telling me, "Amazing you haven't had car problems yet" STOP SAYING THAT. I've had to deal with 3 ever since people made that stupid comment :D Gotta go pretty soon to throw down a couple hundred more on a brake problem because apparently brakes are important...whatever. Again THANK you to everyone who's helped me out. I haven't had to panhandle at all because of you!!